Day 49 - Trying To Be Optimistic... (it's not working)

Let's cut to the chase. Today is weeeeiiiggghhh daaaay. Except I really had to force myself to even type it like that because I'm just not excited. Today hasn't been a particularly good or bad day, really. Just kinda, meh.

So... the results.

Last Week: 200.2

This Week: 200.2

Absolutely NO change. None. While I know I should be realistic and keep in mind I won't see big changes every week... I am completely disappointed. I would have been happy with a little bitty loss. I want so badly to be below 200 and back into the 100's Even if it's just 199.WHATEVER.

I've debated how to handle this today... Instead of moping, which is what I want to do... I'm going to analyze what I ate for the past week. From my last weigh day to this one. My calories were as follows:

Tues, Feb 14                             2,196 (Valentine's Day Feast/Too Many Chocolates)

Wed,  Feb 15                             1,224

Thus, Feb 16                             1,145

Fri,    Feb 17                              1,079 (Worked till 10, Always messes up my intake)

Sat,   Feb 18                              1,307

Sun,  Feb 19                              1,143

Mon, Feb 20                              1,153

It's official. I'm a slave to numbers. Sigh.

So there's no way over the course of this week I ate "maintenance" calories. I've used 50 million calculators all over the internets. My maintenance calories for my weight/age/activity level is in the 2,000's. More like 2,300. Which is easily 1,000 calories more than I ate on any day last week, barring Valentine's Day.

I absolutely refuse to believe that ONE day I ate so much, it prevented weight loss the rest of the week. I refuse.

My only other thought is I'm not eating enough. I'm no dietition... And looking at those numbers, I'll accept a few of them are low. Okay. Several of them are low. They are low because I'm a control freak. I obviously don't have a problem eating a lot... I think Superbowl Sunday and Valentine's Day can attest to that. I have a problem with eating enough on days I am on plan and feeling good about it. I like routines and schedules and planning... So some days, when those things have been thrown off, I might not eat as much. I think ideally, I like 1,300-1,350 calories per day. But I guess you wouldn't know that by looking at my last week's consumption. ): Would you?

Bllllllaaarrrrrgggggggeeeeeiiiijjjffmfmmm.

That's how I'm feeling right now. Like making that noise. And then burrowing in bed the for rest of the day. BUT I can't. Duty calls and I'm sitting in a comfy chair in the basement of the Liberal Arts building, killing time during the break between classes.

My question: Can being on the borderline between calories to lose weight and too few calories cause a halt in loss?

Noooo optimistic and chipper conclusion today...

Here's to hard work and determination (of course),

-E

Day 43 - I Survived Valentine's Day 2012!

Hello lovlies!

Today was definitely not a normal day for me... I woke up just blah. I know it was from all the badness I ate yesterday. I was so stuffed when I went to bed and I woke up kinda nauseated and still full. Since I've adjusted my daily intake and gotten into the habit of eating breakfast every morning, I wake up fairly empty feeling and within a half hour I am almost ravenous. This morning, it was a chore to even drink my coffee because I was still feeling so full.

I also did something I NEVER do... It was out of complete curiosity. I weighed myself on a NOT weigh day. I should be ashamed. I am a once-a-week weigher through and through... but I HAD to know how yesterday's festivities effected me. The scale was a less upsetting 201.2. Which is a pound more than yesterday morning... but much less than last night. I can deal with that.

My grandparents came to town this afternoon to visit bf and I. They insisted they take us out to eat, then they wanted to go for coffee and donuts. AH! I hate turning them down when they come and visit because I never get to see them. So I did the best I could. Or so I thought? My lunch ended up being pretty okay, calories wise. Like 384? THEN came the fun part... Coffee isn't bad. I had black coffee with 2tsp of sugar and a splash of skim milk. It was the ONE donut stick? thing that I got with it. 370 calories for that thing alone. GEEZ. That combined with my very small breakfast leaves me at 920 calories already today. I feel so bloated anyway... so I am okay with having a light dinner.

Unrelated to weight loss and nutrition: I just ordered a new lens for my camera and a remote shutter release. I am pretty excited about those. Used my birthday money... which is by far my favorite thing about birthdays. The other part of my birthday money is going towards new running shoes. Yay, running!

Alright... I have to go do a little shopping tonight before it gets too late. I hope everyone had a successful Valentine's Day, whatever your definition of successful was, and if you temporarily hopped off the weightloss wagon like I did... get your butts back on today! (;

Here's to hard work and determination,

-E

Day 30 - Officially One Month In.

I think this post might be a bit complain-y. And also short. And probably riddled with typos.

So lots of excitment for my 1 month success. I feel like it's something noteable, because I can honestly say that I have been about 85-90% on plan for 30 entire days. Which is no small feat for me.

I didn't sleep very well last night. It probably didn't help that it was f*#$ing 45 degrees last night and for some reason, and since it's FEBRUARY and I refuse to turn on my A/C my apt stayed right at 78 ALL NIGHT. Which is just entirely too warm for me to sleep in. I prefer it to be much cooler in my room. So I can cuddle up beside bf and be toasty under the covers... Not too hot under ONE sheet.

So I had one of those fall-asleep-and-wake-up-every-15-minute nights. Basically the worst.

And I am dragging today. Just dragging. Even my morning coffee didn't perk me up. Blaaah

So, in one month I've managed to lose around 15 pounds. Honestly...technically... 14.6 pounds. Which makes me very, very happy. I'm wearing my not-so-fat jeans today. They are a pair I've been wearing for like 5 years now, because I absolutely love them. But they got a little too tight for a few months and I kind of stopped wearing them and switched to fat-jeans. It makes me happy that they fit again. They aren't as loose as they have been in the past, but noooo muffin top either! (:

I have also seen a fair amount of change in my face. It's less puffy than it had been. Looking at Thanksgiving/Christmas pictures, I can see just a little less roundness happening. I'd really like to start loosing in my fingers too. They aren't super fat, I guess... but I used to wear a size 6.5-7 and now I'm more like a 7.5 and all my pretty rings are too snug and I'm too proud to get the resized. Because, WHAT'S the point of that? I'm going to get all healthy and need them smaller again anyway, duh.

I am also very pround of myself... Today is the day I'm on campus for right at 12 hours. I get here at like 8:30a and I don't get out of my last class till 9p. So if I don't wanna eat at the BK on campus or try to just completely guess about the healthiest choices in the cafeteria... I have to bring my lunch AND dinner. Which is exactly what I did!

One salad with shredded turkey, a string cheese cut up, tons of veggies, pico de gallo, and some yummy salsa ranch yogurt dressing.

A big bowl of sliced strawberries and about a 1/2 of grapes.

Then a stupid, but almost kinda healthy, vaccum sealed meal for dinner. It's not the best, but considering what I have to work with... I can't be picky. Then an apple and a caramel rice cake. I know... you're probably thinking... Seriously? A rice cake? ...YES! They are delicious if you buy the right ones! haha

I usually love writing on this during the day... but today I just feel like I should be more productive. I have an exam in Research Methods and Statistics in like... 4 hours. And I know if I don't spend some time on it, it's going to kick my ass. Then I need to start thinking about a term paper for Industrial Psych. Oh... and one for Clinical Psych. Oh oh, and another for Psychometrics. ): I love psychology... but why does every single class have to end with a 10-12 page paper? Can't me loving it be enough? haha

Everyone go out and make your days awesome! I'm definitely not one to say that today... because I'm kinda walking around half dead and looking like I hate the world. But... do better than me today. haha

H t H W & D,

-E

PS: I really need to start exercising more. I've got the eating healthy foods and moderation on lock, I think. But why can't I master this get my ass moving stuff too? Ugh ):

Day 23 - Things That Are Annoying Me...

Hellooo everybody!

So, I have been getting more and more spam as time goes on. At first, I didn't mind it so much. I just deleted them and went about my business. Now it's staring to bother me. So, I've changed my settings to require commenters to be registered and logged in before they can submit a comment. I didn't really want to do this, but obviously it was what I should have done from the jump. Now... on to other things...

I have a little time between classes so I thought I'd do a little update and talk about some serious concerns I'm having.

So I'm not one to just jump into something without researching the shit out of it. That being said, I spent almost ALL of yesterday reading about nutrition and healthy eating and all  the things that can go wrong when you are losing weight. It's enough to make me go a little crazy... but this is what I gathered.

I'm absolutely convinced I am eating too many carbs. Most places on the great big internets suggest 50 - 100 carbs per day while losing weight and 100 - 150 while maintaining. It also seems the consensus is 40% of your daily calories should come from carbs. So... if I think about this a minute: because each carb = 4 calories, and 100 x 4 = 400. Then 400 should be 40% of my daily calories? So then I should be eating 1000 calories a day? (Since 400 is 40% of 1000, and all). Based on everything I read prior to my obsession with carbs, this isn't enough to prevent my body from going into starvation mode. This is hard. ):

ALSO. I am very concerned about all these carbs (yeah I'm still on that). I looked back at the past week and I've eaten between 140 and 225 carbs EACH DAY. And honestly I don't eat that much. So this says to me... I'm eating the wrong foods. Even though I'm eating things like whole wheat, fruits and veggies, low-fat/no fat dairy, and lean meats???

Also there's the fact that I'm still losing weight despite my massive carb intake. Which lead me to reading about fat loss and it's relation to the types/amounts of foods you're eating. Apparently, when you lose weight, it's often not fat your losing but lean muscle mass and connective tissue. I don't want to lose like 70 pounds then realize only half of that was actually fat and the rest was my lean muscle mass. Because eventually (as in, in the not so distant future) I would like to incorporate some strength training... and I don't want to lose anything I tone and build up.

Which leads me to my NEXT point... I'm super worried about loose skin. I see all these before and after pictures of women around my age, some older some younger, who have lost significant amounts of weight and aren't all loose and flabby. But what if that happens to me? It, of course, wouldn't be the end of the world and I would MUCH prefer have loose skin and healthy than overweight and... well unhealthy?

Honestly all this thinking and reading and researching is stressing me out a little. To summarize, in case you weren't a champ and didn't read that whole thing (kudos if you did)... I have no idea how many carbs I should be eating and how to implement that into my daily diet, losing lean muscle mass rather than fat, and saggy lose skin when I do eventually reach my weight loss goal.

I would love to visit a dietitian. No. I want a dietitian of my own. To live in my pocket. And whisper to me what to eat and what to put down. But really... Does anyone have this stuff figured out?

I'm all frazzled now... I'm going to try and get my mind on other things... like, maybe psychology or statistics! woo!

Here's to hard work and determination,

-E