Day 57 - Stresssssss

I might've fallen back into old habits today... I have only eaten about 900 calories today and it's 9:22PM. This is mostly due to all the crap I've had to do today. I ate 3 meals and 1 snack. So I'll eat another snack before bed and probably call it a night.

Today was my day off. One day a week I get a day with no work or school. But it's never a day off. It's a save-everything-I-have-to-do-till-this-day day. Had to goto campus for some research stuff, did some cleaning around the apartment, hung some pictures, went to the bank, dropped some packages off at FedEx, took a short 30 minute walk, and did laundry. 3 loads of laundry. How does 2 people accumulate SO MUCH laundry in a week??? uggh.

So I feel like I have to talk about this smoothie I just made. Honestly, I made it because I wanted something heathy to boost my calories for the day. Here's the recipe:

1/2 Cup frozen strawberry & banana pieces - 45 calories

2 Tbls Hershey's SF Syrup - 15 calories

3 Tbls 0% Fage Greek Yogurt - 25 calories

4 Tbls Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk - 5 calories

All together, around 90 calories. Made almost exactly 8oz of smoothie... which is about perfect for me. Much more than that and I get tired of drinking them.

It was pretty delicious. Nice and think and chocolately. I couldn't taste a ton of strawberry, but you could tell it was in there... I wanna experiment with adding spinach to my smoothies. Or maybe flax? Just boost the nutritional value of them, really.

So like I said, I walked like 30 minutes tonight. We have a ton of wooded trails and cross country trails on campus. I picked one of those and walked it. It didn't seem like a long walk, but it was getting dark before I knew it. It's in a wooded area, so it's mostly dirt and natural stone. It was pretty hilly too. It was nice. I think that's where I want to do most of my running. It'll be nice and shady and kind of away from everyone. Seemed peaceful. I'll make my running time my zen time.

I have a statistics test tomorrow that I need to review for. I hate stats soooo much. I'm pulling a good, solid B out of the class right now. And honestly, I hate it so much, I'll probably continue being satisfied with a B. As long as it doesn't get any lower than that, I'm happy. I'd kinda prefer a B+ though... haha

I hope everyone is having wonderful weeks! For those of you that get to enjoy time off on the weekends, only 2 more days! (:

Here's to hard work and determination,

-E

Day 50 - Asthma Sucks...

I've made a decision... I've decided I'm not eating enough and my body is telling me so by completely refusing to lose weight. As a result... I'm going to start eating an absolute minimum of 1,350 calories a day... never to exceed 1600. I feel like this is a very good adjustment to my calorie plan. I like it. We'll see how my body responds at next week's weigh in.

I also really liked listing my calories for the week. I know that is probably painfully boring for you reading this... but I like having that information in one place every week. So. Tuesday will now become weigh day and calories for the week day. I like it!

I am having a stupid asthma attack. Not a full-blown one... but it was bad enough for me to get my nebulizer out. I feel so much better after I do a breathing treatment... It's almost worth all the twitchy, tingly feelings I get with it.

I have had an awesome day today. As far as food goes... I had a bowl of cereal and coffee this morning and a baked potato with cheese and sour cream and chives from a place in the mall for lunch. Then, a skinny mocha from Starbucks. Yumm...All together I've had around 730 calories. I've still got dinner and a snack to eat before bed though. So I'll make my 1,350 goal.

I took my measurements yesterday. First time in like 3 weeks. All together I've lost like 7 inches from all over my body. I thought about posting my measurements somewhere. I dunno. If I do, I'll make a page for it. But I've only done it twice. So I'm going to wait till there are more impressive numbers to report.

Tomorrow I'm going out with some friends. A local bar in town has Nickel Beer Night on Thursdays. I don't work early on Friday, so I'm going to take advantage of that and go out and have a good time. While I'd love to stay within 1350-1600 calories tomorrow, and I very well might, I'm going to accept that I also might not.

This week is an experiment. Less strict daily calorie goal... A night of moderate drinking... A little more exercise than I normally get to compensate for the extra calories... And come next Tuesday I'll see if it was a god change or a bad change! Next week is also my TOM. If all goes as expected... Tuesday should be when it arrives. I have to wonder how that will affect my weigh day. We shall see!

I guess that's all I've got tonight... I have some homework I need to work on before class tomorrow afternoon. My first class of the day (9am) and my last class of the day (6pm) are both canceled tomorrow, which means this is going to be one of the besssttt Thursdays ever.

Here's to hard work and determination,

-E

Day 49 - Trying To Be Optimistic... (it's not working)

Let's cut to the chase. Today is weeeeiiiggghhh daaaay. Except I really had to force myself to even type it like that because I'm just not excited. Today hasn't been a particularly good or bad day, really. Just kinda, meh.

So... the results.

Last Week: 200.2

This Week: 200.2

Absolutely NO change. None. While I know I should be realistic and keep in mind I won't see big changes every week... I am completely disappointed. I would have been happy with a little bitty loss. I want so badly to be below 200 and back into the 100's Even if it's just 199.WHATEVER.

I've debated how to handle this today... Instead of moping, which is what I want to do... I'm going to analyze what I ate for the past week. From my last weigh day to this one. My calories were as follows:

Tues, Feb 14                             2,196 (Valentine's Day Feast/Too Many Chocolates)

Wed,  Feb 15                             1,224

Thus, Feb 16                             1,145

Fri,    Feb 17                              1,079 (Worked till 10, Always messes up my intake)

Sat,   Feb 18                              1,307

Sun,  Feb 19                              1,143

Mon, Feb 20                              1,153

It's official. I'm a slave to numbers. Sigh.

So there's no way over the course of this week I ate "maintenance" calories. I've used 50 million calculators all over the internets. My maintenance calories for my weight/age/activity level is in the 2,000's. More like 2,300. Which is easily 1,000 calories more than I ate on any day last week, barring Valentine's Day.

I absolutely refuse to believe that ONE day I ate so much, it prevented weight loss the rest of the week. I refuse.

My only other thought is I'm not eating enough. I'm no dietition... And looking at those numbers, I'll accept a few of them are low. Okay. Several of them are low. They are low because I'm a control freak. I obviously don't have a problem eating a lot... I think Superbowl Sunday and Valentine's Day can attest to that. I have a problem with eating enough on days I am on plan and feeling good about it. I like routines and schedules and planning... So some days, when those things have been thrown off, I might not eat as much. I think ideally, I like 1,300-1,350 calories per day. But I guess you wouldn't know that by looking at my last week's consumption. ): Would you?

Bllllllaaarrrrrgggggggeeeeeiiiijjjffmfmmm.

That's how I'm feeling right now. Like making that noise. And then burrowing in bed the for rest of the day. BUT I can't. Duty calls and I'm sitting in a comfy chair in the basement of the Liberal Arts building, killing time during the break between classes.

My question: Can being on the borderline between calories to lose weight and too few calories cause a halt in loss?

Noooo optimistic and chipper conclusion today...

Here's to hard work and determination (of course),

-E

Day 26 - I Haven't Died!

I hate when I go so long without being on here, checking up on my blog, reading other people's blogs, checking the forums, getting inspired, being inspirational (not really - but I'm working on that one).

I just get so busy on the weekends. And if I can fit in work, school, social life, healthy eating and exercise on these days, I just have to accept that something will be sacrificed. And it's usually my computer/TV time.  Oh well!

So, to be completely honest... I haven't actually been as fantastic as I normally am. Generally, I eat between 1200-1350 calories a day. Well! Yesterday friends from out of town came to visit, and we went to Logan's steakhouse. And I HAD to have a roll. I HAD TO. I mean... I didn't have to. But who are we kidding? I had to. So that's a whopping 227 calories! Ahh! Before I even started eating. Luckily though, after one, I reigned in my crazy. But then we had a huge nacho appetizer and that was pretty much all bad too. Long story short... I still managed to finish my day around 211 calories over budget. (My max to lose 2lbs/week is 1511 calories) So yeah. And then the night before I got a wild hair and decided to drink a little. And by a little I mean like... 600 calories worth of Rum/Guinness. I'm a dark beer girl, all the way. Oh, and not together, of course. But I ate like a saint the whole day and ended 24cals over my budget. Not too bad, considering.

Okay... I feel better now that I've confessed all that. haha That's a weird kind of therapy.

Now we'll see if that has any effect on Tuesdaaaaaaaay!

I have also made an official switch from skim milk to almond milk. I'm buying Blue Diamond Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk. I had to go to a Fresh Market to find it because none of the grocery stores close to me had it. But it's very tasty. It's only 40 calories for a whole cup. It has 2carbs and only 3.5g of sugar! If I had to describe it... It'd say it tastes like the milk in the bottom of the bowl after you eat cereal. It's a little sweet and creamy. I like it. It's delicious in coffee and cereal. I haven't used it for much else yet. And bf doesn't seem to mind the change either. Horray!

I bought some strawberries on sale at the fresh market too. Along with some plain Greek yogurt (we use it as a substitute for sour cream), yummy new coffee, raspberries, and a brick of 90% cacao chocolate. I am a huge sucker for chocolate, especially the dark variety. I always read that dark chocolate is high in antioxidants. The reason I got 90% is because it's SO rich, and actually a little too bitter to eat more than a square at a time. So that solves my chocolate craving without sending me into a crazy chocolate binge... followed by a chocolate coma.

Enough about food! I am in super-homemaker-mode right now, so I'm probably going to cut this post a little short. I am currently decorating our bedroom... and without going in to crazy detail... I'm taking photos, editing them, then making 12x12 canvas prints to hang above our bed. I'm confident it'll be really neat when it's finished... but I have a coupon for 50% off the canvas prints and the coupon expires on the 31, which means I have some work to do. I have all but one photo taken and edited. When it's done I'll be sure to post it and let everyone see! (:

I would also just like to say how much I appreciate all the comments and feedback I got on my last post. I was driving myself crazy and you guys really made me stop and realize how silly I was being. I was overreacting for sure. I'll be carb conscious, but I will NOT be stressing myself out like that again. It's just all around bad. I feel better about the skin thing too. So thank you, you're all wonderful (:

Here's to hard work and determination,

-E

Day 23 - Things That Are Annoying Me...

Hellooo everybody!

So, I have been getting more and more spam as time goes on. At first, I didn't mind it so much. I just deleted them and went about my business. Now it's staring to bother me. So, I've changed my settings to require commenters to be registered and logged in before they can submit a comment. I didn't really want to do this, but obviously it was what I should have done from the jump. Now... on to other things...

I have a little time between classes so I thought I'd do a little update and talk about some serious concerns I'm having.

So I'm not one to just jump into something without researching the shit out of it. That being said, I spent almost ALL of yesterday reading about nutrition and healthy eating and all  the things that can go wrong when you are losing weight. It's enough to make me go a little crazy... but this is what I gathered.

I'm absolutely convinced I am eating too many carbs. Most places on the great big internets suggest 50 - 100 carbs per day while losing weight and 100 - 150 while maintaining. It also seems the consensus is 40% of your daily calories should come from carbs. So... if I think about this a minute: because each carb = 4 calories, and 100 x 4 = 400. Then 400 should be 40% of my daily calories? So then I should be eating 1000 calories a day? (Since 400 is 40% of 1000, and all). Based on everything I read prior to my obsession with carbs, this isn't enough to prevent my body from going into starvation mode. This is hard. ):

ALSO. I am very concerned about all these carbs (yeah I'm still on that). I looked back at the past week and I've eaten between 140 and 225 carbs EACH DAY. And honestly I don't eat that much. So this says to me... I'm eating the wrong foods. Even though I'm eating things like whole wheat, fruits and veggies, low-fat/no fat dairy, and lean meats???

Also there's the fact that I'm still losing weight despite my massive carb intake. Which lead me to reading about fat loss and it's relation to the types/amounts of foods you're eating. Apparently, when you lose weight, it's often not fat your losing but lean muscle mass and connective tissue. I don't want to lose like 70 pounds then realize only half of that was actually fat and the rest was my lean muscle mass. Because eventually (as in, in the not so distant future) I would like to incorporate some strength training... and I don't want to lose anything I tone and build up.

Which leads me to my NEXT point... I'm super worried about loose skin. I see all these before and after pictures of women around my age, some older some younger, who have lost significant amounts of weight and aren't all loose and flabby. But what if that happens to me? It, of course, wouldn't be the end of the world and I would MUCH prefer have loose skin and healthy than overweight and... well unhealthy?

Honestly all this thinking and reading and researching is stressing me out a little. To summarize, in case you weren't a champ and didn't read that whole thing (kudos if you did)... I have no idea how many carbs I should be eating and how to implement that into my daily diet, losing lean muscle mass rather than fat, and saggy lose skin when I do eventually reach my weight loss goal.

I would love to visit a dietitian. No. I want a dietitian of my own. To live in my pocket. And whisper to me what to eat and what to put down. But really... Does anyone have this stuff figured out?

I'm all frazzled now... I'm going to try and get my mind on other things... like, maybe psychology or statistics! woo!

Here's to hard work and determination,

-E