Day 3 - I had an "ah-ha" moment today

So something occurred to me today. I don't write a 25 page research paper by just sitting down and typing. And I would never go on vacation without first (almost painstakingly) planning. So why would I ever think I could completely overhaul the way I think about food and eating without first having a carefully thought out plan? A set course of action. Small, tiny steps for my day-to-day.

And then I discovered how much easier and considerably less intimidating dieting is when I make a plan. If I just wander aimlessly through the day without any preemptive thoughts for my meals, I'll likely make poor, unprepared decisions.

So I've decided, until I get better at managing my meals, I'll stick to somewhat boring meal guidelines. These consist of coffee in the morning with a little bit of sugar (something I'm really not ready to part with) and skim milk. Two pieces of whole wheat toast. I found whole wheat bread with only 35 calories per slice, which I found amazing. And sugar-free, fiber enriched strawberry preserves. This will be my breakfast for a while. I've never been a good breakfast eater, but I hear it's a good idea.

I've also found a calorie-free, sugar-free, carb-free honey mustard salad dressing. And it's actually pretty tasty for a diet dressing. There were other types like thousand island and ranch, but I'm partial to honey mustard. Now, given it has basically nothing in it, I can only assume it's just a bottle of cancer. But, eliminating artificial sweeteners is a bridge I'm not prepared to cross just yet. So for now, my lunch salads with chopped up sliced turkey and zero-everything dressing will have to do, cancer or no cancer.

Dinner is a little more difficult because I'm eating with my boyfriend almost every night. He's not at all interested in dieting the way I am. So I just have to make good decisions. Last night after work we went to Logan's Steakhouse. It was soooo tempting to order something terrible for me and eat the whole basket of dinner rolls. But I didn't. I had one dinner roll (which was still probably a mistake), a house salad with lite dressing on the side, a small sirloin and a sweet potato in lieu of the normal baked potato. A healthier choice, I hear.

Also, I haven't chosen an official weigh-day. With classes starting this week, I just have to see when I can be most consistent. But this morning I weighed myself to establish a starting weight.

Start Weight: 220.0

Goal Weight: 150.0

Pounds to Lose: 70

That is a seemingly huge number. I'm not much for trying to stick to very specific weight goals by specific dates, because I think that can be very discouraging. However, I did figure up if I lose 1.5pounds per week, for almost exactly 12 months, I'll reach my goal weight. Nice and slow and steady and hopefully forever.

I'm also not sure I will be 100% satisfied at 150, though right now it sounds absolutely perfect. And I will tentatively change my final goal as time progresses.

I feel very positively about this. I've done really well the past two days. And I can say that with a completely clear conscience, even if I just ate a piece of dark chocolate 15 minutes ago. And that's because I ate ONE piece and I was happy. Not half the bag. (:

I hope anyone reading this is also having luck and feeling positive about their choices! And if not, then I say just keep trying. Mistakes are nothing to worry about as long as you are taking care to avoid making them again.

This post was sort of ramble-y. But I'm still getting my footing!

Here’s to hard work and determination,

-E

Day 1: Admitting I have a problem

I’m going to skip the traditional introductions here and just jump right in. If you’re interested in learning a bit about me, I suggest the aptly titled “A little about me” tab at the top of this page.  (:

It seems to me my weight fluctuates in extremes. At my lowest adult weight, I was around 162. At my highest, 235. I’m 5′6 and have been since I was 18. According to that wonderful BMI chart, I have never been a healthy weight. And while I make no habits of doubting the great minds that designed it, I’m not sure I believe I should ever weigh only 114 pounds. But as I type this, I wonder if that’s not just another excuse.

My ultimate goal is to weigh around 150 pounds. I haven’t weighed myself in several weeks, so I’m not sure exactly how much I have to lose. But I do know it’s quite a bit and will take me a while. Starting tomorrow, or in a few days, I will begin weighing myself weekly. I just have to set a day of the week and time of day I can commit to.

I love lists, and feel most productive when I’m making them and adhering to them. This is a collection of reasons why I want to lose weight (including, but not limited to… I’m sure I’ll leave something out).

- I would like to avoid all the nasty diseases I will inevitably inherit if I remain unhealthy and overweight. These include diabetes, high blood pressure, and cancer. Cancer may not be directly linked to obesity, but it runs rampant in my family, and the healthier I am, the better chances I feel I’ll have to avoid it.

- I want more energy. It really pains me to admit I’m 22 years old and I feel like an 80 year old woman sometimes.

- I want to see if losing weight has any effect on my asthma. At 19 I was diagnosed with adult-onset asthma. A complete shock to me. I would love to minimize my symptoms, if at all possible.

- I want to improve my upper gi health. I’ve been on acid reflux medication for several years and the only times I remember not needing it is when I weighed less.

- I want to be lean, fit, and flexible. I want to appear strong, not marshmallowy.

Now for the less noble, but equally important reasons…

- I have noticed I have two “go-to” pairs of jeans. There’s no two ways about it… they are my fat jeans. I want to be able to comfortably and confidently wear ALL the jeans in my closet, even the tight ones.

- I want to shop where ever I want. I don’t care if it sounds shallow, I want to shop at the stores that stop at size 12. And I want to choose clothes based on how they look, not always how they look/fit.

- I want the first thing I assume people notice to not be my weight. I don’t want to be described as “the bigger one” anymore.

- I don’t want to avoid having my picture taken anymore

- To be able to wear shorts confidently

- To be able to wear a swim suit confidently

- To be able to feel comfortable, instead of bloated and big all the time

- To feel sexy taking a bath or sitting in a hot tub.

- So I can finally get a short haircut and not worry whether my head will look like a giant melon.

- To be able to sit with my legs crossed for long periods of time

- To be able to walk in heels for long periods of time

- So people believe I am the intelligent, capable person I know I am, and not someone who is fat and unhealthy and unable to take care of herself.

- To simply feel good about myself.

- And finally, to be able to tell people I was there once, and that they can lose the weight too. I want to be an inspiration to others.

Alright! I feel like I’ve written a book.

I’m not sure I like this layout, yet. The colors are kinda meh and I’m having issues with formatting.

I feel like this was a successful first post. My subsequent posts will be able food, weighing myself, fitness techniques I’m utilizing. This will be a place for accountability. And a place for new ideas to jump start my weight loss. I’ll see you all again very soon! Good luck, everyone.

Here's to hard work and determination,

-E